I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize
