lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
