and you said cock pushups were impossible
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
