I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
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