We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Randomize
