Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
