I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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