He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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