C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I can tuck mytits in my pants
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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