Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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