Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
