can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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