I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
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Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
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I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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