he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize