Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
