We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Randomize
