She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
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Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
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It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
This is classic penis vs brain.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
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