at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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