booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
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