I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Randomize
