I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
