he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex