Texts From Last Night

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  (810): View more from Michigan

  You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Experience is the best teacher

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  (810): You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish (248): Experience is the best teacher http://tfl.nu/l23g
  Replies (2) Good night (1547) Bad night (570)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low

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  (815): I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low http://tfl.nu/wg0q
  Replies (24) Good night (697) Bad night (4138)
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  (985): View more from Louisiana

  Four minutes until I can fart!

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  (985): Four minutes until I can fart! http://tfl.nu/u0vh
  Replies (11) Good night (1050) Bad night (3278) Order T-Shirt
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  (718): View more from New York

  what happened last night?

  (917): View more from New York City

  u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style

  (718): View more from New York

  that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left

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  (718): what happened last night? (917): u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style (718): that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left http://tfl.nu/i3a9
  Replies (39) Good night (14008) Bad night (920)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover

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  (937): Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover http://tfl.nu/h2d8
  Replies (56) Good night (2921) Bad night (6335) Order T-Shirt
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.

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  (612): i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high. http://tfl.nu/z4jl
  Replies (25) Good night (5524) Bad night (703) Order T-Shirt
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  (787): View more from Puerto Rico

  1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while

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  (787): 1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while http://tfl.nu/u6qo
  Replies (17) Good night (1189) Bad night (7042)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?

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  (201): We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong? http://tfl.nu/lzrs
  Replies (13) Good night (2741) Bad night (707) Order T-Shirt
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this

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  (416): Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this http://tfl.nu/tjbd
  Replies (11) Good night (1877) Bad night (789) Order T-Shirt
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.

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  (832): He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex. http://tfl.nu/fne7
  Replies (11) Good night (2082) Bad night (804) Order T-Shirt
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  (607): View more from New York

  Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis

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  (607): Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis http://tfl.nu/770f
  Replies (8) Good night (1869) Bad night (522) Order T-Shirt
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  (281): View more from Texas

  Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.

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  (281): Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet. http://tfl.nu/oj89
  Replies (13) Good night (1781) Bad night (505) Order T-Shirt
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  (817): View more from Texas

  Post-sex nachos deserve a song.

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  (817): Post-sex nachos deserve a song. http://tfl.nu/enl8
  Replies (8) Good night (1155) Bad night (296) Order T-Shirt
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.

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  (541): One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse. http://tfl.nu/w6rf
  Replies (2) Good night (614) Bad night (330) Order T-Shirt
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  (716): View more from New York

  You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage

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  (716): You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage http://tfl.nu/tfgj
  Replies (2) Good night (439) Bad night (727) Order T-Shirt

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