When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
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he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
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Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.