We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
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This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.