if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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