Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Randomize
