he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
