We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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