when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
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I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
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Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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