Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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