so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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