I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
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