HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
my poor anus
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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