Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize