the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
