In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
