Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
