i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
