why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
