Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
