ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
They have beer where we have blood.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize