i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Randomize
