You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
