those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
