lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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