The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Randomize
