You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
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