Sponge bath it is.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize