Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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