Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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