I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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