The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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