I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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