Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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