guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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