just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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