And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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