she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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