He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Randomize
