Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
