Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
