Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
