i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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