I swear she didn't look like that last week.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
