How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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