fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
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